The Only Thing I Knew About Tiger Woods

Up until I found out about Tiger Wood’s car accident two years later from my sports enthusiast grandma, the only thing I knew about him was this…

Tiger Woods Infidelity

Frankly, besides the fact that Tiger Woods was a black golfer who was really, really good, the only thing I knew about him was his cheating on Elin Nordegren.

The same woman he met with on Wednesday to celebrate his 15-year-old son, Charlie, receiving a golf championship ring.

Allegedly, the couple co-parents beautifully for their children. Which is very big of Elin considering how their marriage went…

It felt like a cultural phenomenon when he wasn’t faithful. Everyone I knew was talking about it. Remember the story?

The Infidelity

People might have been so reactive about Tiger Wood’s ‘indiscretions’ because he was so dramatic with them. The news dropped that he was unfaithful, but then when the hot goss continued to drop, people’s eyes popped with the sheer quantity.

Elin (and the rest of the world) thought it might be one or two ladies. It was not.

Not Even Good At It

Tiger Woods wasn’t even good at cheating either… he texted other women that he loved them; he convinced a mistress to call his wife and convince her that they weren’t together; and he also called women, warning them that his wife may be on to them after she already caught him. 

That Night

Woods’ future ex-wife confirmed he had a mistress after going with his phone when he was knocked out with sleeping pills. Elin went so far as to text the other woman, pretending to be Tiger. That is a level of toxicity that many of us can identify with, at least in our younger years.

Elin was so angry that she woke up her drowsy husband with her angry screaming, which sent him careening into the bathroom to text that particular mistress. Nordegren was so furious that she threw his cellphone in his face and chipped his tooth. She also chased her husband out of the house with a golf club. 

As Tiger Woods was leaving the house he accused Elin of ‘ruining’ the holiday, like he wasn’t the cheater. Mental gymnastics that would drive any partner wild.

Near Murder

This story almost went completely differently that fateful night. Woods, still under the influence of sleeping medications, attempted to flee the home in his car. He hit a curb, a fire hydrant, and a tree going 30 miles per hour. Neighbors report that he was in the street, knocked out, bloody, and snoring. 

Elin had been in hot pursuit in a golf cart, and when neighbors came to the scene, she was seen knocking his vehicle’s windows out with the golf club.

It took a while for the details of the night to come out because the couple didn’t cooperate with the police, and the judge didn’t allow them to investigate further into their inconsistent stories and what appeared to be a near-death incident.

Something else that didn’t come out for a while was the extent of Tiger’s bad habits.

Tiger Woods Got Around

And not just in a golf cart during a PGA tour either.

Woods claims he got jiggy with over 120 women, although there were only 15 confirmed mistresses. Considering no cocktail waitress, sex worker, church deaconess, or librarian went untouched by Tiger, 120 is not out of the realm of possibility.

Ever the avoider of conflict, Tiger Woods ran off to rehab for his ‘sex addiction.’ Elin was busy planning on ending their marriage while he was gone, a decision that was solidified when she found out he was doing the horizontal hokey pokey dance with the neighbor’s daughter, whom he had known since she was 14. 

Nordegren read Woods to filth during their divorce. She received over 100 million dollars from the divorce settlement and got $20k a month for the kids. That’s almost a million dollars for each woman Tiger slept with. Poetic justice.

And that’s the story of Tiger Woods, kids.

Want to read other golf content? The Forkball has more here. Curious about how often golf clubs and carts are used as weapons? I talk about the dangers of golf right here.