Terry Bradshaw: A Medical Marvel

The NFL is hardly safe for players’ bodies or brain cells today, but it was downright lethal in the 1970s. Terry Bradshaw took an exorbitant amount of hits in his time, and he has one particularly hilariously alarming story of “medical” care administered after getting dinged up.

Tough Times with Turkey Jones

The rivalry between the Cleveland Browns and the Pittsburgh Steelers is hardly new. If you’re new to the sport, you may think that Pittsburg’s backup QB Mason Rudolph getting beaten over the head with his own helmet by Myles Garrett was the greatest display of their rivalry ever. You might be right too. However, Turkey Jones and Terry Bradshaw in week 5 of the 1976 season created the original violent display of rivalry.

There are a lot of components to this story that are important leading up to the end.

“Turkey Jones?”

Turkey Jones got his honorary nickname because he loved turkey—nope, that’s not it. The Browns had a wholesome tradition back in the day that included lying to rookies, telling them they could get a free turkey at a farm 50 miles away. There was no farm and no turkey. Somehow, Turkey Jones got faked out twice—the only player in Cleveland Brown history. Players would say that it felt like 12 20-pound turkeys were nailing them to the ground (not really, but close).

The QB situation

The Steelers had butter balled the Browns; the first QB, Brian Sipe, got knocked out of the game with a concussion in the first half. Second-stringer Mike Phipps wasn’t far behind him with an injury. They were desperate; they put out Dr. Davis Mays, a dentist by trade. Dr. Mays had never thrown a football in the NFL before, so everyone was feeling less than confident.

Back to the Terry Bradshaw story

It was the fourth quarter. The dentist led the Browns to a lead, and the Steelers were down by eight. Bradshaw was preparing his throw when Turkey Jones came out of nowhere and “bear hugged” him. The snuggle struggle turned into Turkey accidentally propelling Terry Bradshaw into the ground. A Pittsburg Steeler would defend Jones by saying that Terry often fell that way, and it was an accident. One does not wrap Terry Bradshaw in a simple bear hug.

Obviously, this accident could have had disastrous effects, though; Bradshaw fell directly on his head. Turkey would apologize after the game and receive a fine of $3,000 for his sucky sack. There was some deliberation over the cleanliness of the play; some said it was all clear, and some said it was dirty. The NFL went with the latter.

Then the funniest (and scariest) part of the story is what happened after Terry Bradshaw got roasted. The medics didn’t have a stretcher, so they took the door off the locker room and strapped the quarterback to it, leaving him in the hallway until the game was over. Instead of taking him straight to the hospital, they sent him back to Pittsburg. Terry had no feeling in his body the entire time.

Ernie Holmes Saves The Day

Post-game, an ambulance delivered Terry Bradshaw to the tarmac outside the team plane at the Cleveland airport (not the hospital). Getting Terry to the plane was one thing, but getting him in the plane strapped to a door is another matter. Ernie “Fats” Holmes took care of this dilemma.

Fats reached down and picked up Bradshaw and the door alone, lifting the not-small quarterback up the steps of the plane and gently carrying Terry to the last row of the plane. Bradshaw’s “makeshift bed” was as medically sound as his spinal board door—the armrests were put up and he was balanced on the seats.

Ernie Holmes did a fantastic job of helping his quarterback, but the medical team didn’t. Terry Bradshaw was strapped to a door, balanced on the back row of a plane, unable to feel his body. So quick question: how is he even in one piece?

For more stories on classic football stars, look at my article on Bob St. Clair here.