Bravo, the San Antonio Brahmas mascot (Photo courtesy of KSAT 12/YouTube).
Who won week five of the UFL? The underdogs! In the case of Houston, their underdog claim to fame was their nightmare 2024 season. This week, the Roughnecks dominated the Brahmas, and winless Memphis upset Birmingham in the most thrilling upset so far this season.
Make sure to catch The Forkball’s Jay Allen’s article on the Showboats-Stallions game here. While you’re at it, read the rest of our fantastic UFL content here. We cover every game every week and more. Now, let’s discuss the Houston Roughnecks and San Antonio Brahmas’ week 5 performance.
What Is A Brahma?
Can we agree that knowing what a Brahma is is critical to this game coverage? Somehow we have been covering team content for the UFL for multiple seasons, but in week 5 of 2025 this question just occurred to us. Even if it was late, we have to know. What on earth is a Brahma?
Hindu Faith
It’s unclear which definition San Antonio had in mind, but we will cover each one. First, Brahma is the creator god in the Hindu trinity of deities. Brahma is also the name of an extremely deep Hindu philosophy that goes over our heads and can be studied here. It’s a little hard to believe that the San Antonio franchise was considering profound Hindu philosophy, but anything is possible.
Animals
There is also an American breed of chicken that originated from China. Although that’s an ode to the agricultural history in Texas, it’s unlikely that San Antonio would want to be named after a chicken. Last but not least, there is a hybrid cow breed referred to as Brahmas that originated from the sacred Indian Zebu breed.
These special cows are known for their hardiness and ability to thrive with limited resources and tough environments. Something the UFL franchise is likely striving towards. Unless they are a team of Hindu scholars, which would be amazing. Paying attention to the mascot of the team would have likely pared down our research to a cow. A breed that is sacred in the Hindu faith. We see your inclusivity, San Antonio!
The Actual UFL Game
Now that we have clarified, let’s discuss the slaughtering of the San Antonio Brahmas in week 5. There were high hopes that the Brahmas could maintain their one-game winning streak in their first home game of the season. Maybe next week.
First Half
Chris Blewitt of the Houston Roughnecks reminds us that the UFL was nothing without the kickers. He put the initial points on the board for the game and set the tone for the team. The team is one of the few to get a touchdown and a field goal in the same quarter in the UFL. Running back Zaquandre White ran the ball in, leaving San Antonio in the dust with a 9-0 score heading into the second quarter.
Fans could hardly look away as Houston made filet mignon of San Antonio when they were intercepted after three failed drives. The Roughnecks managed to do something many NFL teams can’t do—utilize the defense’s hard work by getting points post-interception. Blewitt didn’t blow it, sending in another field goal. We head into the locker room with a score of 12-0.
The Last Half
At this point, both fans have to shield their eyes from the carnage. The Roughnecks utilize their first drive of the half to score another TD. San Antonio shelved the QB that got them a win last week and put Jarrett Guarantano out as a desperate Hail Mary. This seemed to ignite the Brahmas, as we saw the first flicker of life from the defense when they intercepted Houston’s ball. Guarantano prevented the team from a skunk when he moved down the field close enough to get the team a field goal. We’re sitting at a score of 18-3.
If Roughnecks fans felt any anxiety in the third quarter, they shouldn’t have. Houston read San Antonio for filth when they got a pick-6 and a successful three-point conversion. The game comes to an end with a score of 27-3. That’s going to be a tough loss to come back from, but anything can happen.
Final UFL Thoughts
The Houston Roughnecks defeated the San Antonio Brahmas so hard it seemed a little unethical. They are playing against the other underdog winners from week five on Saturday, May 3rd. Will Memphis showboat their way to a second win, or will Houston continue to make minced meat out of their opponents? Put your predictions down below.
San Antonio scraped themselves off the gridiron and are mustering up for their opponents on Sunday against the Birmingham Stallions. Normally, this would be a sure loss for the Brahmas, but the Showboats proved that last year’s champs are beatable. Can San Antonio muster up the tenacity to re-bruise the ego of Birmingham? Fingers crossed!
